Well, I stare at myself in the mirror When I wake up every morn And I marvel at how great I've been Since the day that I was born I've made so many albums I've run out of things to name 'em My fans all want to be like me And really, who can blame 'em Teenage groupies all surround me I guess I know why No one else can match my charm Why do they even try All the girls in college Turned me down for other fellas But I know why, it seems to me They're just insanely jealous Who wouldn't be Some people call it self-indulgence But they just don't understand That it's hard to be too humble When you know that you're so grand And I'm not trying to say I'm perfect I just want you to see That I've never met a person Who's as wonderful as me Now, I'm not arrogant or haughty And I'm certainly not conceited But anyone trying to match my wits Is very soon defeated I'm a marvellous human being I'm just one big hunk of man Sometimes I have to marvel At how very great I am Some people call it self-indulgence But they just don't understand That it's hard to be too humble When you know that you're so grand And I'm not trying to say I'm perfect I just want you to see That I've never met a person Who's as marvellous, spectacular Fantastic and terrific And so very great and wonderful as me