Brighten up you home, it said in the advert All your decorating done by an expert How the hell was I to know he's such a dirty sod I wanted subtle shades, maybe something black There's paint on the chairs & the dogs a different colour I'm the only bloke I know that does have a day-glo scullery... [Chorus:] Dez the demon...never coming back, he's never coming back ooeee Dez the demon...never get a cheque, he'll never get a cheque from me Dez the demon decorator He split a tin o'gloss coz he's a clumsy swine "I'll paint the carpet pink, I've got no turpentine" Pink footprints everywhere reminding me The neighbours came for tea & they began to frown The wallpaper was cock-eyed, flowers upside down What the flippen 'ecks that decorating clown done now... [Chorus.... Guitar Bit] Dez the demons deed is done, my house is an eye-sore Bumps & Lumps in the wallpaper, paint splashed on the floor I won't be calling Dez the demon, won't be calling Dez the demon I won't be calling Dez the demon decorator anymore... [Chorus]
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