Roy taught me how to play baseball and do the foxtrot on the harp Taught me how to swim and fish and tell the difference between bass and carp Taught me how to snap my fingers whistle through my teeth oh Uncle Roy He sure took time to make times good for a little pesty half grown boy Aunt Kathleen would wash my clothes and blow my nose whenever nature called Darn my socks and damn the pox but kept me out of school from fall to fall Gave me movie money though I never did my chores the way I should To a nasty little nephew Kathleen you sure made aunthood awful good And Freddy used to laughed to me whenever something valuable got broke He taught me how to climb a tree about birds and bees and taught me how to smoke He took me on a first date I was scared to death but he said you'll do fine Good buddy you're my cousin but you seem more like a brother of mine But you can't go home to the good times you can't go home anymore Roy's all crippled up now Kathleen can hardly see Freddy's off somewhere to fight a war But you can't go home to the good times you can't go home anymore Everything has changed and who were there to blame Gone far that you just can't go home [ strings ] Looking back I'd say I had the best childhood that money just can't buy And I owe it all to free good folks who took me in when mom began to die They always told me son just do what's right and you'll be proud just wait and see Well Roy and Kathleen I'm only proud that you're the ones who's proud of me But you can't go home to the good times you can't go home anymore Roy's rheumatism Kathleen's cataract and Freddy's fightin' someone else's war
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