Mrs. Lovett: Seems a downright shame... Sweeney Todd: Shame? Mrs. Lovett: Seems an awful waste... Such a nice, plump frame Wot's 'is name has... Had... Has! Nor it can't be traced... Bus'ness needs a lift, Debts to be erased... Think of it as thrift, As a gift, If you get my drift! Seems an awful waste... I mean, with the price of meat What it is, When you get it, If you get it... Sweeney Todd: Ah! Mrs. Lovett: Good, you got it! Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop! Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast! And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most! And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste! [Simultaneously] Sweeney Todd: Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion Mrs. Lovett: Well, it does seem a waste... Sweeney Todd: Eminently practical And yet appropriate as always! Mrs. Lovett: It's an idea... Sweeney Todd: Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived Without you all these years, I'll never know! How delectable! Also undetectable! Mrs. Lovett: Think about it! Lots of other gentlemen'll Soon be comin' for a shave, Won't they? Think of All them Pies! Sweeney Todd: How choice! How rare! For what's the sound of the world out there? Mrs. Lovett: What, Mr. Todd? What, Mr. Todd? What is that sound? Sweeney Todd: Those crunching noises pervading the air! Mrs. Lovett: Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, all around! Sweeney Todd: It's man devouring man, my dear! BOTH: And who are we to deny it in here? Sweeney Todd: What is that? Mrs. Lovett: It's priest. Have a little priest. Sweeney Todd: Is it really good? Mrs. Lovett: Sir, it's too good, at least! Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh, So it's pretty fresh. Sweeney Todd: Awful lot of fat. Mrs. Lovett: Only where it sat. Sweeney Todd: Haven't you got poet, or something like that? Mrs. Lovett: No, y'see, the trouble with poet is 'Ow do you know it's deceased? Try the priest! Mrs. Lovett: Lawyer's rather nice. Sweeney Todd: If it's for a price. Mrs. Lovett: Order something else, though, to follow, Since no one should swallow it twice! Sweeney Todd: Anything that's lean. Mrs. Lovett: Well, then, if you're British and loyal, You might enjoy Royal Marine! Anyway, it's clean. Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been! Sweeney Todd: Is that squire, On the fire? Mrs. Lovett: Mercy no, sir, look closer, You'll notice it's grocer! Sweeney Todd: Looks thicker, More like vicar! Mrs. Lovett: No, it has to be grocer -- It's green! Sweeney Todd: The history of the world, my love -- Mrs. Lovett: Save a lot of graves, Do a lot of relatives favors! Sweeney Todd: Is those below serving those up above! Mrs. Lovett: Ev'rybody shaves, So there should be plenty of flavors! Sweeney Todd: How gratifying for once to know BOTH: That those above will serve those down below! Sweeney Todd: What is that? Mrs. Lovett: It's fop. Finest in the shop. And we have some shepherd's pie peppered With actual shepherd on top! And I've just begun -- Here's the politician, so oily It's served with a doily, Sweeney Todd: Put it on a bun. Well, you never know if it's going to run! Mrs. Lovett: Try the friar, Fried, it's drier! Sweeney Todd: No, the clergy is really Too coarse and too mealy! Mrs. Lovett: Then actor, That's compacter! Sweeney Todd: Ah, but always arrives overdone! I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu! Have charity towards the world, my pet! Mrs. Lovett: Yes, yes, I know, my love! Sweeney Todd: We'll take the customers that we can get! Mrs. Lovett: High-born and low, my love! Sweeney Todd: We'll not discriminate great from small! No, we'll serve anyone, Meaning anyone, BOTH: And to anyone At all!