In your little black book You've got the names And the favourite persuasions Of the people in the headlines I'm in there under A And I'm rated under B You've got the photographs to prove it And I swear to God it's not me You've got a hard heart Being hard is your art You think love is a dirty dirty word You pick up the phone And you ring when I'm at home Then you put it down And I'm reaching for my valium Chorus: My secret life Living life On a knife edge of life Tell my wife And she's just had a breakdown And I I'm not rich But I'm top in my pitch And you'll ruin the lot Finish everything I've got I'll give you anything Anything to shut you up Why do you hate me so much What have I ever Done to you But leave you I don't want to play Cat and Mouse Have the neighbors Looking over at my house All the secret smiles When I walk in the room And I think I'm going to Crack up soon I'm going to run away Find a place in the dark Where I don't have to hear The nasty nasty talk Change my sex Change my hair Be hard to find anywhere Chorus