[Verse:] What makes you think I'm crazy about you? What makes you think I can't do without you? I've looked you over carefully And if I never see you again, it's soon enough for me [1st refrain:] I hate the ground you walk upon I hate the phone you talk upon I hate 'most ev'rything that you do I hate the table and the cloth you eat on I hate the sofa that you rest your seat on I hate the rouge upon your lips The polish on your finger tips I hate your eyes of heavenly blue I hate the way you sigh, honest I do Outside of that, I love you [2nd refrain:] I hate the way you comb your hair I hate the flashy clothes you wear I hate the patent shine on your shoe I hate the closet that you keep your clothes in I hate the handkerchief you blow your nose in I hate the smell of your cigar The way you lean against a bar I hate the jokes you tell that are blue I hate that fancy tie, honest I do Outside of that, I love you [3rd refrain:] I hate the notes you write to me The verses you recite to me Your conversation flowing like glue I hate the way you watch me through your lorgnette I hate your children that have not been born yet I hate the dates you fix for me The cocktails that you mix for me Those etchings you may want me to view I hate the way you lie, honest I do Outside of that, I love you [4th refrain:] I hate the song you sing to me I hate the flow'rs you bring to me I hate your phony "How do you do?" I hate the way you always break my dance up I hate those rubber things that keep your pants up I hate the cigarette you smoke The way you kill a funny joke I hate the brand of gum that you chew I hate the way you lie, honest I do Outside of that, I love you [Alternate lines in 1st chorus:] I hate that funny little mouth you drink with That peanut on your shoulders that you think with