Hairspray - (The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs - Текст песни

TRACY
Well, I brought my own '45s,' so if you put 'em on, I'll show you my stuff!

LOU ANN 
Haven't you already shown us enough? 

{The Council Girls snicker.) 

VELMA 
Oh my god 
How times have changed 
This girl's either blind 
Or completely deranged 
Ah, but time seemed to halt 
When i was "Miss Baltimore Crabs"

Childhood dreams 
For me were cracked 
When that damn shirley temple 
Stole my frickin' act 
But the crown's in the vault 
From when i won "Miss Baltimore Crabs"

Those poor runner-ups 
Might still hold some grudges
They padded their 'cups' 
But i screwed the judges 
Those broads thought they'd win 
If a plate they would spin in their dance 
Not a chance!

Cause i hit the stage 
Batons ablaze 
While belting high 'c's 
And preparing souffles! 
But that triple somersault 
Was how i clinched "Miss Baltimore Crabs"!

VELMA 
Proceed... 

TAMMY 
Are you scared we're on live? 

TRACY 
No, I'm sure i can cope! 

AMBER 
Well, this show isn't broadcast 
in... 

COUNCIL GIRLS 
...Cinemascope! 

VELMA
I never drank one chocolate malt 
No, no desserts for "Miss Baltimore Crabs"

SHELLEY
How many sweaters do you own?

TRACY
Well, I'm sure I've got plenty 
Let's see, I have three...five?... 
Wait, I have twenty!!

VELMA
I would say 'oy gevalt' 
If i wasn't "Miss Baltimore Crabs"!

A tycoon i wed
So cuddly and funny
The old fart dropped dead
But left tons of money
So i bought this station

VELMA & COUNCIL GIRLS 
So all of the nation 
Could see 

VELMA 
Baby amber and me! 

AMBER 
Do you dance like you dress? 

LINK 
Amber, there's no need to be cruel! 

VELMA 
Would you swim in an integrated pool? 

(The Council Members gasp.J 

TRACY 
I sure would. I'm all for 
integration, it's The New 
Frontier! 

VELMA 
Not in Baltimore it isn't! And may i be frank? 

First impressions can be tough 
And when i saw you, i knew it 
If your size weren't enough 
Your last answer just blew it! 

And so, my dear, so short and stout 
You'll never be "in" 

VELMA & COUNCIL GIRLS 
So we're kicking you out! 

VELMA 
You can't get past me kid 
But it isn't your fault 

VELMA & COUNCIL MEMBERS 
It's hard to get rid of "Miss Baltimore... 

VELMA 
...Crabs!" 

You may go. 

TRACY 
Um... thank you? 

PENNY 
Gee Tracy, that went well! 

(Li'l Inez runs on.) 

LI'L INEZ 
Hello Ma'am, may I please 
audition? 

VELMA 
No, but you can bow and exalt! 
'Cause i was "Miss Baltimore... 

VELMA & THE COUNCIL MEMBERS 
...Crabs"! 
Crabs, Crabs!!!