You are the girl Somebody invented In a grim little office On madison ave. They were specific They made you terrific: Red lips; Blue eyes; Blonde hair; Un-wise -- Youre all-american, And, darling, they said so Youd take any kind of pain from me, Wouldnt you, baby? Youd take any kind of pain from me, Wouldnt you, baby? Since you havent got a brain, Let me just explain: Any kind of pain Is never a maybe Her heads full of bubbles; Her nose is petite! She looks like she never Gets nothin to eat! She dines with actors, n wall street characters: Dull talk; Nice clothes -- See her? She blows -- Shes so important cause he gets to do talk shows -- And shed take any kind of pain from me, Wouldnt you, bobby? Shed take any kind of pain from me, Wouldnt you, bobby? Since you havent got a name, Let me just explain: Any kind of pain Is probably her hobby She has moves up now; Shes come a long way -- They give her bunches Of words she can say! When shes in a bold mood, confinement loaf sounds good -- Thats right, Shes wrong! Lets end Her song (it seems shes everywhere We just cant escape her -- Is this a miracle of pure evolution? And all the yuppie boys, they dream they will rape her -- She brings the 80s To a thrilling conclusion!) Yes, shes every bit as tame as me, Isnt she tender? Yes, shes every bit as lame as me, Let us remember, She gets only half the blame Only half the blame Only half the blame Unless we extend her --