Performed by adam sandlerallen covertjon rosenburgfrank coraciand bob glaub When I was a young man I didn't like to dance I was shy I'd stand against the wall all night I'd never take a chance So afraid I wouldn't get on that dance floor Unless I was really drunk 10 shots But I found a place where the stars hang out And they taught me how to funk Real nasty It ain't too far away It's just on the edge of town Nearby But be ready when you get there 'cause these folks don't fuck around You can Rub your belly with liza minelli Covered in jellyyou're gonna rub your belly Jiggle your droopy balls with singin' lou rawis Bounce off the wallsthen jiggle them droopy balls Grind your hips with the blond guy from chips Lick your lips Stroke it clean with martin sheen It's fucking obscense Clench your ass-cheeks tight with sexy grandma betty white You'll see the light when your sphincter's tight If you don't know how to move Just feel the groove And dance Like you just shit your pants Spin like a little girl With cross-dressing milton berle Just give it a whirlpretend you're a little girl Wave that juicy weeno with legendary al pacino Wave your weenoeven more obsceno Knock back a drink with colonel klink Piss in the sink Bounce your beef with omar sharif What a relief Ring the disco bell with ice cream wizard tommy carvel Tommy carvel gonna make your dink swell Then spew all over the room With mr. jeffry goldblum And dance Like you just shit your pants Mr. belvedere Fatty fatty Finger in his own rear Bernard king Basketballbasketball Showing off his ding-a-ling Swimming mark spitz Moustachemoustache Playing with his hairy tits Big earl weavertommy seaver Both of them got the boogie fever Shit your pants You can Do the hustle with seven-footer billy russell Do the fucking hustlejerking your love muscle Shake your biground ass with the ghost of mama cass Blast from the pastthe ghost of mama cass Dry-hump the floor with mary tyler-moore Pump it sore Squeeze your nipple like baldy mr. whipple Drink some ripple Give it a hearty whack with tv great victor tayback When you give it a whackdon't hurt the nut-sack So if the thought of grooving is bringing you down Come to the funkiest place in town The stars will show you how to move And dance Like you just shit your pants