I dated Siamese twins I slept with Bigfoot, too Get me on Sally Jesse Put me on Donahue 'Cause I wanna tell the world about it Right Now My dog's a narcoleptic My mom's a circus freak I gotta get a spot on Geraldo's show this week 'Cause I wanna tell the world about it Right Now I'm just an anorexic codependant bingo addict Stripper born without a chin And I'm only comfortable talking about it When the whole wide world is listening in Talk Soup... Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me My wife ran off with Elvis My boss shaved off my hair I've got a thing for poodles And rubber underwear And I wanna tell the world about it Right Now I had a close encounter I never chew my food I got eleven nose jobs I yodel in the nude And I wanna tell the world about it Right Now I'm just a cross-dressin' alcoholic neo-Nazi Porno star, as you may have guessed And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better If you let me get this thing off my chest Talk Soup... Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me I'm just your average schizophrenic nymphomaniac Albino go-go dancer, you see Nothin' so bad that I can't share it With a billion friends on national TV, whoa... I have no genitalia I sold my kids for cheese I love my blow up doll, so Bring out those cameras, please 'Cause I wanna tell the world about it Right Now Talk Soup... Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me Talk Soup... Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me Talk Soup... Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me Talk Soup... Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me