Tell us once again this morning old friend how did you win the war Everybody loves a hero it don't matter if they've heard the tale before And tell us of the time when almost everybody knew you were a star And how intelligent you are Prove that you're alive Mr Shuck and Jive You can tell us of the man who stole your fortune and nearly ruined your life Or better still the one about the TV and the couch and your best friend's wife Tell us of grand projects never finished with somebody else to blame And all the reasons that your fame Just never did arrive Mr Shuck and Jive [ piano ] If you can get yourself together kindly write a criticism of this song How it's exquisitely constructed and yet mechanical and somehow slightly wrong And you can put it in your book about the enemy you never even met You know you just might make it yet But somehow you'll survive Mr Shuck and Jive
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