By townes van zandt Well, I aint very big for twentyone And it seems I never could have any good clean fun Cause every time Id go outside some great big bullyd come along Hed hit me in the face and hed knock to the ground And hed start kickin me all around And that aint exactly fair, friends, thats wrong. So I got me a paper the other night And I crawled up on the sofa and I turned on the light And flipped through the pages till I found the classified ads. Said, "take karate from lee hung chow; Man, make your first appointment now This course is guaranteed to make you bad." Well, the next day I drove to the address By japanese design I was really impressed It looked like a regular house of the rising sun. I walked inside, I was all alone I had a nervous feeling down in my bones I was kind of sorry Id ever even come. Then a giant jap came through the door He must have been about seven foot four And he looked like hes prone to easy aggrevation. He said, "lee hung chow, ah kee dung" Thats japanese for fee fie foo fum I tried to explain my entire situation. He said, "number one course, yankee, self defence, Twohundred dollars and twentyfive cents"; I said "whats the twentyfive cents for? " and he said, "repairs." I said, "repairs to what? ", and he said "to you" And I thought to myself "man, that wont do" Felt about a half inch tall under that ol slender stare Ah, you think he was yellow... I said, "i believe I better go check another place" He said, "ha so, yankee dont like my race" I said, "now, theres a mistake, man, and thats true; Ive been for you you japanese all along You japanese just cant do no wrong And I thought you got mighty dirty deal in world war ii." Well, he grabbed me by the hand and gave a heave I figured theres a pretty good time to leave Before he had a chance to do me any definite harm. But my plan worked out in the end, you see, Now no bully is gonna pick on me Whos gonna hit a fellow with just one arm?