[ Предположительная тональность: C ] Verse 1: B Jesus was a Jewish philosopher B Had a lot of nice ideas G#m About our existential fears B Much admired by his peers F B G#m B#m Short and Jewish and quite political F B G#m Often hesitant and very analytical B F B B Praise be to Jesus B F B G#m Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus F B B Woody Allen Jesus! Verse 2: B Jesus was a great entertainer B Doing cool tricks all of the time G#m Turning water into wine B#m Making stormy weather fine F B G#m B#m Even now his stunts confound us F B G#m Kinda did what Derren Brown does B F B B Praise be to Jesus B F B G#m Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Jesus F B G Magic Woody Allen Jesus! Verse 3 (to Bm): Bm Jesus died but then came back to life G So the Holy Bible said Fm Kinda like in Dawn of the Dead Fm Like a movie by Simon Pegg Fm G Fm Try that these days, you'd have trouble Fm G Fm All of the geeks would try to smack you with a shovel Bm Fm G Bm Praise be to Jesus Bm Fm G Fm Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus Fm Bm G Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus! Verse 4: Bm Jesus ascended into Heaven G He was an incredible guy Fm Disappeared right into the sky Fm Not often find fellas that fly Fm G Fm Only once did he use this ability Fm G Fm With great power comes great responsibility Bm Fm G Bm Praise be to Jesus Bm Fm G Fm Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superhero Jesus Fm Bm Gm Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Jesus! Verse 5 (to C): C Jesus' mother gave birth to him Gm Without having sex with a dude F#m No, she would never be that rude F#m Never even be nude with a dude B Gm F#m Breeding without the opposite gender is B Gm F#m Commonly known as parthenogenesis B#m Other animals that don't need males Gm Include a lot of lizards and various snails B Gm C Praise be to Jesus C B Gm F#m Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superhero Komodo Dragon Jesus B Jesus! F#m Jesus can communicate with the deceased Gm Like Psychic Sally (without the earpiece) B Jesus lives forever, which is pretty odd F#m G#m (to B) But not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood Bm Jesus is in more than one place at a time B Like an electron or Schrödinger's feline G Jesus pulled off that water walking miracle B He was as handy as an amphibious vehicle Bm F G Jesus had long hair, bare feet, and a beard Look I'm not saying I'm Jesus Fm Bm No, I'm not saying that I Am Jesus G F I'm not saying that I Am Jesus B (to F) I AM Jesus! F F B F Praise be to Jesus F F B Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus Cm G#m F Woody Allen Jesus! F F B Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superhero Komodo Dragon F Telepathic Vampire Quantum Hovercraft *Me* Jesus!