The canopy over the main doorway of the Ritz hotel Had served as a very large umbrella when the May rains fell Still the men of Paris glistened and their ladies did as well As long as their powder was dry there'd be some heterosexual thrills With or without the protection of the Paris Ritz hotel And every single Parisian will love tonight without using hands And these are the slides that Mary took when we were overseas Oh, look at the funny little Frenchman with some French company There's the Ritz hotel where me and Mary stayed a couple of days Jerry, let go of your sister, what is wrong with you today Sit over there with your mother and let's sing La Marseillaise The only way children are punished, unlike old times is without using hands Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city Oh, are you willing to go Oh, are you willing to go How about letting me know, without using hands When the explosion rocked the lobby of the Ritz hotel Nobody moved for fear of learning that they weren't all that well Is there is anybody missing, answer only if you're well Everyone cheered the good fortune, for indeed it turned out well Only the manager suffered, but at least his face looks swell The manager is going to live his entire life without using hands Without using hands, etc.