Toby: Ladies and Gentlemen! May I have your attention please? Do you wake every morning in shame and despair To discover your pillow is covered with hair Wot ought not to be there? Well, ladies and gentlemen, From now on you can waken with ease. You need never again have a worry or care, I will show you a miracle marvelous rare, Gentlemen, you are about to see something wot rose From the dead! On the top of my head. 'Twas Pirelli's Miracle elixir That's what did the trick, sir, True, sir, true. Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir, Just like an elixir Ought to do! How about a bottle, mister? Only costs a penny, guaranteed. Does Pirelli's Stimulate the growth, sir? You can have my oath, sir, 'Tis unique. Rub a minute. Stimulatin', in'it? Soon you'll have to thin it Once a week! Sweeney Todd: Pardon me, ma'm, What's that awful stench? Mrs. Lovett: Are we standing near an open drench? Sweeney Todd: Are we standing near an open drench? Mrs. Lovett: Pardon me sir, What's that awful stench? Toby: Buy Pirelli's Miracle elixir Anything wot's slick, sir, Soon sprouts curls. Try Pirelli's When they see how thick, sir, You can have your pick, sir, Of the girls! Wanna buy a bottle Mrs.? Sweeney Todd: What is this? Mrs. Lovett: What is this? Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss. Mrs. Lovett: Smells like...ew! Sweeney Todd: Looks like piss.... Mrs. Lovett: I wouldn't touch it if I was you dear.... Sweeney Todd: This is piss, piss with ink Toby: Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir! Sweeney Todd: Keep it off your boot, sir Eats right through. Toby: Yes, Get Pirelli's! Use a bottle of it! Ladies seem to love it! Mrs. Lovett: Flies do too.
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