Uncle Larry's hooked on ice again He seems to be stuck in the 80's He wears his "members only" jacket 'Cause he thinks it turns on all the ladies And all the white folks shake their asses Looking for the two and four I'll have mine in Martini glasses 'Cause I can't take it anymore These are the days of empty kitchens The rise and fall of Mary Ellen's hairdo I think she's found a new religion Studying the Kabalah in her J. Crew And all the rich kids shake their asses Looking for the two and four Well, I'll have mine with Blackstrap molasses 'Cause I can't taste it anymore No, 'cause I can't taste it anymore My friend Gregg says it's all good As the eastern seaboard's blown away Now everything is going half-price So look at all the money we saved And all the politicians shake their asses Looking for the back door I'll just be hanging out with the lasses 'Cause they don't like the boys no more No, and I can't take it anymore