I got this pain that I just can't deal with How I wish I had somebody to go and eat oatmeal with Oh gee, I really need a friend to play with me I'd give him friendship and affection I'd even let him come and see my paper clip collection Oh gee, I sure could use a friend to play with me In line he'd gladly stand To watch a marching band Or buy some saddle shoes (laugh) He'd worship argyle socks, collect them by the box He'd help me chase these blues My style would please him, more than a smidgeon He'd say, It's really nifty Bert, the way you dance the pigeon Oh gee, I gotta find a friend to play with me Won't somebody hear my plea? Wanna end this misery I wish I had a friend to play with me