I got to Kansas City on a Firday By Saturday I learned a thing or two Cuz up to then I didn't have an idy Of whut the modern world was comin' to! I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by their sels Almost every time I took a walk Then I put my ear to a bell telephone And a strange woman started in to talk To you? What next? Yeah what? What next? Gather round! Everythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they can go They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high About as high as a buildin' oughta grow Everythin's like a dream in Kansas City It's better than a magic lantren show You can turn the radiator on Whenever you want some heat With every kind of comfort Every house is all complete You can walk to privies in the rain And never wet your feet! They've gone about as fur as they can go Yes sir! They've gone about as fur as they can go Everythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they can go They've got a big theyater they call a burleeque For fifty cents you can see a dandy show Gals? One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty As round above as she was round below I could swear that she was padded From her shoulder to her heel But latter in the second act When she began to peel She proved that everyhin' she had was absolutely real! She went about as fur as she can go Yes sir! She went about as fur as she can go!
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