Joseph and Mary are so bad Kissin' in the park, kissin' in the park, kissin' in the park He practices dentistry without a license But it's alright 'cause Mary read the books and she's got his back They're saving up for a trip to Frah-ah-ance Gonna leave the baby with one of the in-laws Just long enough to see the Eiffel Tower and back Wear red scarf and booze on the airplane The Devil come to Bethlehem With a Bible and an alarm clock The Devil come to Bethlehem And he ain't afraid of the dark Joseph and Mary are so sad Sittin' in a park in Paris, France, reading the news, and it sure looks bad A pile of empty postcards on their lah-ah-ap Nothing bright to write and nothing good to send The Devil come to Bethlehem With a Bible and an alarm clock The Devil come to Bethlehem And he ain't afraid of the dark... ... ness is less frightening than The lightness is less frightening than The dark Joseph and Mary are so dead Honest, it's been years, it's been years, it's been many, many years All their descendants are long buried and gone And their closest blood relative works in a Philadelphia Sears Walking on water in his own bathtub Turning that water to wine The Devil come to Bethlehem With a Bible and an alarm clock The Devil come to Bethlehem And he ain't afraid of the dark... ... ness is less frightening than The lightness is less frightening than The darkness is less frightening than The lightness is less frightening than The dark