Ninety-seven lovers twisted out of shape and just one kiss could set them straight Ninety-seven lovers twisted out of shape and just one kiss could set them straight I know a woman with a picture of Roger Moore in a short towel and dressing-gown pinned to her bedroom wall She married a man who works on a building site Now they make love beneath Roger every Friday night Oh Ninety-seven lovers twisted out of shape and just one kiss could set them straight Ninety-seven lovers rose to meet the sun And when the day was over there were only ninety-one Another I know Well, she laughs too loud with her friends Playing it safe on the surface to give her heart time to mend And then one day without warning he walks unannounced through the door And he picks her heart up off the table and he watches it smash on the floor Ninety-seven lovers twisted out of shape and just one kiss could set them straight Ninety-seven lovers rose to meet the sun And when the day was over there were only ninety-one.