A hundred years ago I thought happiness was ice cream and football But time went by so fast Till I couldn't see their attractions at all I looked around for other pleasures The old man had shown the way then Just in time I found women and wine I marvelled at the way that they united men For the working and middle and upper classes You didn't need any brains Just a taste for booze and a eye for lassies I'm not basking in reflected glory But open any book and I think you'll find that The greatest men of all time Loved women and wine Or men and wine Ah, they'll be the death of you If something else doesn't get you first Well I'm older now And have to take my pleasures in moderation Least that's what it says here in this guide to Declining years in declining nations But just 'cause I've slowed up a bit Doesn't mean I can't cheer from the touchline I hope sons of mine Spend lots of time On women and wine Women and wine