{We'd like to sing a children's song for you now, that's unique It's the only children's song that we've ever encountered That contains all three of the basic elements Of every single children's song} {The first element is simplicity So that the child can understand this song The second element is pathos To prepare the child for later traumatic experiences And the third element is repetition To give the child a false sense of security} I had a dog and his name was Blue I had a dog and his name was Blue I had a dog and his name was Blue I betcha five dollars, he's a good dog too Singin', "Here ol' Blue, hey you're a good dog, you" Ol' Blue come when I blow my horn Ol' Blue come when I blow my horn A Blue come a-runnin' through the yella' corn A Blue come a-runnin' when I blow my horn Singin', "Here ol' Blue, hey you're a good dog, you" {What if this song were to be changed? Modified by an unscrupulous modifier of folk songs Whose business it is to make this type of song palatable For the teenage, delinquent, 'Mother-My-Dog' instinct} {And then it would be a rock 'n roll song Oh nasty, unscrupulous modifier Now it would sound something like this} Hup, two, three, four, five, six, hey Well, I got a dog and his name is Blue I betcha five dollars he's a good dog too [Incomprehensible] Well, Blue, why did you leave me, sweetheart? Blue, you promised to write and I, I sit, I sit I sit alone at night now, sifting sand through my fingers Looking for some trace of you Come back Blue, I, I, I, I want you I, I, I need you and I'm going to have you, here Blue