Out on the old coast highway Flying through the night Jed got stopped by the CHP For speedin' and no brake lights Rolled down the driver's window Slipped his gun down under his seat The glove-box was full of cocaine The trunk was full of weed "Driver's license and registration," Said the officer with his flashlight Search around the floor, look hard Smellin' like something ain't right Jed's life flashed before him Like a scratchy old super-8 He heard the sound of the future On an RPM 78 Nothing was still, all was moving When the flashlight found the gun Then Jed pulled the trigger In a split-second tragic blunder "It makes you think about living What life has to tell," Said Jed to Grandpa From inside his cell Camouflage hung in his closet Guns all over the wall Plans for buildings and engineers And a book with no numbers at all The whole town was stunned They closed the coast highway for twelve hours No one could get in Jed was one of ours Meanwhile across the ocean Living in the internet Is the cause of an explosion No one has heard yet But there's no need to worry There's no reason to fuss Just go on about your work now And leave the drivin' to us And we'll be watching you No matter what you do And you can do your part By watchin' others too Grandpa put down the paper Staring in disbelief Jed had always been good to him Never gave him any grief The moral of this story Is try not to get too old The more time you spend on earth The more you see unfold And as an afterthought This must, too, be told Some people have taken pure bullshit And turned it into gold