Lyrics by Edward Kleban Music by Marvin Hamlisch Dance Ten, Looks Three And I'm still on unemployment Dancing for my own enjoyment That ain't it, kid! That ain't it, kid! Dance Ten, Looks Three--Is like to die. Left the the'ter and called the doctor For mu appointment to buy-- Tits and Ass Bought myself a fancy pair Tightened up the derriere Did the nose with it All that does with it Tits and Ass! Had the bingo bongos done. Suddenly I'm getting Nash'nal tours! Tits and ass won't get you jobs Unless they're yours. Didn't cost a fortune neither. Didn't hurt my sex life either. Flat and sassy. I would get the strays and losers. Beggars really can't be choosers. That ain't it, kid! That ain't it, kid! Fix the chassis. "How do you do!" Life turned into an endless medley of "Gee, it had to be you." Why? Tits and ass. Where the cupboard once was bare. Now you knock and someone's there. Have you got 'em, hey! Top to bottom, hey! It's a gas! Just a dash of silicone. Shake your new maracas and your fine! Tits and ass can change your life. They sure changed mine. Have it all done! Honey, take my word. Grab a cab, c'mon See the wizard on Park and Seventy-Third for Tits and ass Orchestra and balcony. What they want is what they see. Keep the best of you. Do the rest of you. Pits or class.--I have never seen it fail Debutante or chorus girl or wife--- Tits and ass, Yes, tits and ass Have changed my life!