[Intro: Ludacris] {*dial tone, BEEP*} Hey, this is Luda, okay? Look, I need you to do me a huge, favor Umm, c-can you please take your name, off of your phone? Umm, my-my girl went through my cell phone and uhh, she may be calling you So, so if you can please take your name off of that And And-and just have it as-as a number on the voicemail, okay? You gotta do this for me, huge, quickly! [Hook: Ludacris] So I'm just sittin in this rehab class Tryin to get myself unhooked on ass So then my teacher asked me a question Like "Ludacris, are you over there sexting?" Ha ha, O-M-G, L-O-L, K-I-T Smiley faces, X and O's, L-M-F-A-O [Interlude] My girl went through my cell phone {*8X*} [Ludacris] So I'm gettin treated for my sex addiction In a private clinic and I need you to be sensitive 'bout my condition Cause I'm in it to win it and I really don't wanna further disappoint my fans And my teacher's a cougar so I wish she'd lend a helpin hand, a helpin hand Damn! Calm down, B-B-C T-X-T a M-S-G After class, come with me And can I get a little bit of T-L-C? She reply, "What the fuck? F-Y-I you're gonna flunk S-M-H, it's such a shame You ain't learned a damn thang" [Hook] + [Interlude] [Ludacris - over Interlude] {*dial tone*} This is huge, okay? I need you to do this quickly She went through my phone, she might be calling you So just take your name off and have it as a voicemail Do it now! [Ludacris] So I'm sittin at the crib just chillin and I'm mindin my business Got a text with a tongue out from a number I didn't recognize, I replied "Who is this?" Quick back got a hit back Said, "This is Stacy and I been missin you Had to change my number so I went and got a new phone and a new tattoo" - a what? A new tattoo? Wow! Aww yeah, hurry quick Can you send a nasty pic? So I can see right where it is And I promise I won't show my friends (yeah right!) She replied, "Well okay B-T-W, by the way S-M-H, it's such a shame that you ain't learned a damn thang" [Hook] + [Interlude] [Ludacris - over Interlude] {*dial tone*} This is huge I need you to take your name off of the voicemail You gotta do it for me NOW, quickly! [Ludacris] So I pull up to the club stuntin in a yellow Lamborghiiiiini Half bent, black tint Five percent make it a little hard to seeeeee me Stepped out, fresh out Headed straight for the do' on into the V.I.P.! Next thing I got a text from a freaky Latina sayin "Is that you I see? Is that you papi?" So I B-B-M'd, abbreviate Yup and before the night gets too late Let me hit you with a little Q&A Can I tap that ass? T-T-A! She replied, "It all depends! It's me plus one, can I bring my friend?" And all I could think was it's such a shame that I ain't learned a damn thang [Hook] + [Interlude] [Outro: Ludacris - over Interlude] {*dial tone*} Look, I told you she's onto us We probably only have about 24 more hours to live I'm fearful for my life, and I think you should be fearful for yours I mean, do you wanna have sex just once more? Just c'mon, just let me get it in the hole one more time Hole in one, quickly It'll be huge, huge, trust me I think we should do it, I mean we're gonna die anyway Why not, you know? Heh, LUDA!