Spivy Leeks was a drip of a man I met him washing dishes in a local cafe And he told me if...were fishes He'd steal all their scales and he ... away Spivy Leeks was an introvert Like a broken radio He'd make your day real long An end result, ... time he looked up women's skirt Just trying to figure out what was right from what was wrong He was looking for Jesus in all the wrong places There in my hole, save his soul Spivy Leeks, It's time to go home Spivy Leeks was an odd looking man He looks just like a pool table Shoved into jeans And he thought that he possessed a secret power And no matter what he did, he would be redeemed Spivy Leeks lived at the local 7-11 He looked at dirty magazines most everyday He studied those pictures like he studied the Bible He thought that they were angels and that he'd been saved He was looking for Jesus in all the wrong places There in my hole, save his soul Spivy Leeks, It's time to go home Spivy Leeks robbed a liquor store Instead of a gun, he used a candy bar He told the cashiers that he was their saviour But his holyness, His holyness and his Baby Ruth didn't get him very far Spivy Leeks died a glorious death Down on main street It was quite a public site And as Mr. Sheriff man was about to Blow him to pieces He said "Halejuhah, I'm coming home tonight."
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