Cut along the dotted line - slip in and seal the flap Postal competition crazy Though you wear the dunce's cap Win a fortnight in Ibiza - line-up for the big hand-out You'll never know unless you try - What winning's all about - be a Quizz Kid Six days later there's a rush telegram Drop everything and telephone this number if you can It's a free trip down to London for a weekend of high life They'll wine you, dine you, underwine you - Better not bring the wine - be a Quizz Kid Be a Whizz Kid It's a try out for a quizz show that millions watch each week Following the fate and fortunes of contestants as they speak Answerable to everyone, responsible to all, publicly dissected Brain sells spattered on the walls of encyclopaedic knowledge May be barbaric but it's fun As the clock ticks away a lifetime Hold your head up to the gun Of a million cathode ray tubes aimed at your tiny skull May you find sweet inspiration - May your memory not be dull May you rise to dizzy success May your wit be quick and strong May you constantly amaze us May your answers not be wrong May your head be on your shoulders May your tongue be in your cheek And most of all we pray that you may come back next week ! Be a Quizz Kid Be a Whizz Kid * Crazed Institution Just a little touch of make-up; just a little touch of bull Just a little 3-chord trick embedded in your platform soul You can wear a gold Piaget on your Semaphore wrist You can dance the old adage with a new dapper twist And you can ring a crown of roses round your cranium Live and die upon your cross of platinum Join the crazed institution of the stars Be the man that you think you really are ... Crawl inside your major triad, curl up and laugh As your agent scores another front page photograph Is it them or is it you throwing dice inside the loo Awaiting someone else to pull the chain Well grab the old bog-handle, hold your breath and light a candle Clear your throat and pray for rain to irrigate the corridors That echo in your brain filled with emopty nothingness, empty hunger pains And you can ring a crown of roses round your cranium Live and die upon your cross of platinum Join the crazed institution of the stars Be the man that you know you really are ... * Salanander Salamander - born in the sun - kissed flame Who was it lit your candle - branded you with your name ? I see you walking by my window in your Kensington haze Salamander, burn for me and I'll burn for you. * Taxi Grab Shake a led; it's a big ruch, can't find a taxi, can't find a bus Bodies jammed in the Underground Evacuating London town Nowhere to put your feet as the big store shoppers Red lights - and the pavements meet pin stripes - short step shuffle into the night Tea time calls - the Bingo Halls open at 7 in the old front stalls How about a Taxi Grab There's an empty cab by the taxi stand Driver's in the cafe washing his hands Big diesel idles - the keys inside C'mon Sally let's take a ride Flag down - uptown - no sweat For rush-hour travel, it's the best bet yet. Taxi Grab.