[1st refrain:] The secret service makes me nervous When I am dating they are waiting to observe us When I get ready to hold steady for the kiss you plant The secret service makes me nervous and I can't They're always spying, no denying They're always peeping, gumshoe creeping, private eye-ing When I'm beginning to give-inning like a maiden aunt The secret service makes me nervous and I can't I've been exposed beyond control Just like a goldfish in a bowl The President's daughter must drink water No drink of Scotch, she might do what she hadn't oughter When I'm ignited, so excited that I start to pant The secret service makes me nervous When my lamps are lit and I say "This is it!" The secret service makes me nervous and I can't [2nd refrain:] The secret service makes me nervous Those White House "dicks" get all their kicks when they observe us Just as I wind up, make my mind up not to say "I won't" The secret service makes me nervous and I don't When things look rosy they get nosy They'll say there's "tootsie" playing "footsie" very cosy My pulse goes higher, I'm on fire, shaking at the knees The secret service makes me nervous and I freeze Whatever I may do or say Will be reported the next day They don't see clearly when I'm merely being courted When I'm just necking, simply pecking with a "Cary Grant" They stand behind me to remind me Who and what I am when I don't give a damn The secret service makes me nervous and I can't