[1st verse:] A maiden pretty from Jersey City Paid a visit to some cousins out of town She answered, "Mercy" when cousin Percy Said, "I'd dearly love to show you all around" Like bees a-buzzin' She and her cousin Were together ev'ry minute of the day One night he kissed her, she shouted, "Mister" But he answered in a cute and cunning way [Refrain:] If I thought you wouldn't tell your mother I would try and take one more Promise not to tell your father or your brother And I'll make it three or four If I thought that you could keep a secret I would keep you busy, Nell I'd forget that I'm your cousin And I'd take a half a dozen If I only thought you wouldn't tell [2nd verse:] One evening early, he took the girlie To a restaurant where drinks are often tried He ordered porter, she ordered water Then she said, "I'll take a cocktail on the side" She drank a dozen Just then her cousin Whispered, "Dearie, don't you think we should go home?" She answered, "Later, please call the waiter" Then she murmured in a rather husky tone [2nd refrain:] If I thought you wouldn't tell your mother I would try and take one more Promise not to tell your father or your brother And I'll make it three or four If I thought that you could keep a secret I would take all they would sell I'd forget that I'm your cousin And I'd take a half a dozen If I only thought you wouldn't tell