Once I woke up mild mannered and shy Passed in the pub and I didn't know why Made a sharp turn and I hooked a bee-line For the tender minute mender Bad news sender liquor vendor After twice his normal dose He thought he'd go make the most In mid-stride of a vague adventure Hangin' from a stranger's tenth floor balcony It wasn't me It must have been my evil My evil twin It wasn't me It must have been My evil My evil twin Push came to shove and the stranger Decided she could fly Saw you in a cornfield two days Later with a scarecrow in old cobb It wasn't me It must have been my evil My evil twin It wasn't me It must have been My evil My evil twin And I'm not capable Of that kind of sin And I'm not capable Of that kind of death wishin' It wasn't me It must have been my evil My evil twin It wasn't me It must have been My evil My evil twin