let's go one man at the window one girl at the bar saw that look of recognition when they know just who you are i seen you on the tv i seen you on that show you make the people crazy and then you let them go before the show we calm them we sympathise, we care and the hostile folk we keep apart 'til the red light says 'on air' did you see our leather lovers all tied up to the chair did you catch those child molesters no one else goes there what a show, the barry williams show what a show, dysfunctional excess is all it took for my success the greater pain that they endure the more you know the show will scored it's showtime got the reputation of a surgeon 'cos they cannot feel the cut it looks so very simple but it really is an art they call our studio 'the hospital' making money from the sick we let people be themselves there is no other trick 'my lover stole my girlfriend' 'i keep beating up my ex' 'i want to kill my neighbour' 'my daughter's selling sex' 'my s/m lover hurt me' 'my girl became a man' 'i love my daughter's rapist 'my life's gone down the pan' what a show, the barry williams show the barry williams show dysfunctional excess is all it took for my success and when the punches start to fly the ratings always read so high it's showtime 'that girl has got no scruples' not a wrinkle on her face you would not believe the plot she conceived so they'd let her take my place well, no man is an island no man is a sea but this display of emotion is all but drowning me what a show, oh what a show on my show, the barry williams show it's my show what a show dysfunctional excess is all it took for my success the best tv you've ever seen where people say the things that they really mean i hear my name, i hear them roar for the one more time i take the floor just one more barry williams show we're gonna take you where you want to go it's showtime come on down come on down