(Eminem) Ay, yo This next song, is a true story (Come here, bitch!) Cause some things in this universe, don't make sense But somehow always seem to fuckin' work VERSE ONE - Eminem Driving down I-75, about to hop on 696 I look over, this fucking chick's tryina' fix her makeup, I'm like bitch? You ain't a plastic surgeon, I advise ya to put up your visor I'm getting kinda ticked, you're blocking my side mirror She's like yeah? so? I'm like so? You gon' need a stitch you keep actin' like that, ho I look like your husband slut? That's a rhetorical question You talk to me like you talk to him, I'll fuck you up In fact, get in the backseat, like the rest of my dates No bitch rides shotgun, what? Taxi? Stop and pick you some Maxi Pads up? Is that what you actually ask me? (smack) Bitch reaches over and smacks me And says I annoy the fuck outta her Get in the fucking back, put on your slut powder You slut, what? Shut the fuck up now, or get your feelings hurt Worse than my last chick, when I accidentally butt dialed her And she heard me spreading age rumors about her Turn the radio up louder, make it thump While I bump that Relapse CD, tryina' hit every bump In that...till I snap back in that accent Cause she kept asking me to stop callin' her CUNT I SAID THAT CUNT HOOK - Eminem She said, Marshall you ain't really like that, oh oh oh Your putting on a show, where's your mic at? Cause you're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart x2 VERSE TWO - Royce Uh, pull up to the club in a Porsche, not a Pinto While Marshall's at a white trash party, I'm at drama central I walk up in there looking at my phone on twitter tweetin' I'm feelin' a bunch of bitches lookin' at a nigga, cheesin' I get approached by this little skeeser She asked me if I'm the real G, cause I'm Gucci from head to feet I said, yeah, I'm really is, cause I spit in your man's face Like Cam did that kid on Killa Season She said I'm feeling a bit of ego Wait, am I talking wrong? I said nah, I'm a walking Kanye/Beyonce song. She said I'm mad at you, I said why? She said why you never make songs for chicks as if it's hard to do? I said I make songs for me, leave the studio And go and fuck the bitch who belongs to makin' songs for you She said I'm feelin' your whole swagger and flow, can we hook up? I said, eh, you just used the word swagger so NO (hook) VERSE THREE - Eminem We been ridin' around in this hatchback 'till I'm fucking hunchback Where the fuck's this party at slutbag cunt? Cut what act? Think it's an act? Fuck that, I'm tryina' ...?....finest love shack Or somewhere to fuck at, eh? Don't touch that You fat dyke, I'm tryina hear some Bagpipes from Baghdad Don't act like you don't like em', them accents I rap tight, and I'mma torture 'till we find this place, yeah that's right Thought it was just past this light, past Van Dyke Better hit that map right, read them directions Oh yeah you can't read, and you can't write Told me that last night, she took my CD out the deck Snapped in half like, Relapse sucked I snapped, hit the gas like, blew through the light Spun out, hit a patch of black ice Forgot we had a trailer hitch to the back We jackknifed, bitch flew out of the car I laughed like, she deserved it She didn't think I'd act like that in person (Yo, Royce, Marshall just crashed right in front of the club!) VERSE FOUR - Royce Tell him I'll be there in a minute, I'm tryina break up this cat fight Between my mistress and my damn wife Then a chick wanted a hug, but she was fat So I gave her that and told her to scat I'm not mean, I'm cute On my way to the front door, taking the scenic route To avoid this chick with a lace front Lookin' like Venus and Serena's hooves I'm jus' sayin', those chicks got horse asses, they been attractive Hope when they see me they don't slap me with they tennis rackets My mind drifted back to this shit I seen my wife push her down, step over her body, and smack the mistress Police outside, I turn and pass the gat to Vishis Then I step out and see my evil twin He gives me an evil grin He mugs the mistress, turns around and gives the misses hugs and kisses Looks at me twisted, like Nickel "watch this shit!" He smacks the dentures outta the mouth of the fat bitch he rode with Looks back to mention, "Royce, it's good to be back to business" (hook)
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