It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane Everywhere I travel the pretty girls call my name I give them a squeeze and they shoot me a wink I buy their hard-headed husbands a long cool drink You better come up smelling sweet 'cos you're a long time stinking It's a little too late to complain It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane Now if you catch my eye and you find that it runs down your leg It's like striking a match pretty hard upon a powder keg They tell you from the borders to the waters of the gulf If you take all the sugar you will end up in the sulphur And you're burning Hello baby I'm pleased to meet you I wouldn't do you wrong, honey I wouldn't cheat you, honey When can I see you again? Wrap you up in cellophane It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane When your eyes fill up with brine 'Cause you're drowning in wine It's like the last days of Rome With the despots and divine And there's no place like home for a little doll from China It's a little too late to complain It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane You can go west to Texas Go east to Mississippi You can run out of money You can run out of pity Throw open your purse until you're crying for mercy Go to Alabama Escape Louisiana I'm digging like a miner North and South Carolina And then if you continue you will end up in Virginia The women in Poughkeepsie Take their clothes off when they're tipsy But in Albany, New York They love the filthy way I talk Until they gargle with the finest champagne They can't get the grape and the grain It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane If I could find a piano Here in Bloomington, Indiana I would play it with my toes Until the girls all take their clothes off The women knock upon my door in odd and even numbers But none of them as wild as I've discovered in Columbus I gave up married women 'cause I heard it was a sin But now I'm back in Pittsburgh, I might take it up again Because they gargle with the finest champagne They can't get the grape and the grain It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane Up in Syracuse I was falsely accused But I'm not here to hurt you I'm here to steal your virtue Down in Bridgeport The women will kill you for sport But in Worcester, Massachusetts They love my sauce The women in Poughkeepsie Take their clothes off when they're tipsy But I hear in Ypsilanti They don't wear any panties Once they gargle with the finest champagne They hitch up their skirts and exclaim It's not very far, sugar It's not very far, sugar Pour a little sugar on me, sugar It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane