We're gonna drink enough tonight to drown the average army By New Year's Day the next door neighbour will be goin' barmy (yep, that's how it's spelled) The milkman arrives at midday with his usual wisecrack Who knows a girl with Wednesday legs so when's they gonna snap? Chorus: Why does everybody have to be so hale and hearty Can't they see we're tryin' to have a party party party party The last thing I remember I was talkin' to some fellas Then she said she'd have a word for me with her good-looking mate And handed me a pint-pot filled with Advocaat and Tizer And I woke up in the flowerbed fearing fertilizer (I would have thought "feeling fertilizer" would make more sense, but maybe that's just me and my strange sense of humour!) (Note: Advocaat is a Dutch drink, sometimes described as the "Dutch Eggnog", Tizer is a Scottish drink (I think), it even has its own website: www.tizer.co.uk) Chorus Bridge: So shift yourself and shake your bod You got bullet proof insurance from fire, flood and Act of God You got to learn from your mistakes When you got a face like last week's Cornflakes The doors and the window frames are by Pablo Picasso The party decorations owned by Michelangelo The fine music that you hear is by Stravinsky with overall design by Leonardo daVinci Chorus Bridge: So shift yourself and shake your bod You got bullet proof insurance from fire, flood and Act of God You got to learn from your mistakes When you got a face like last week's Cornflakes Two boys are upstairs in your bed Three girls are downstairs cryin' The Alka Seltzer in the glass is roarin' like a lion You think you've aged 10 years tonight and still never been kissed So you overdose on aftershave and try to slash your wrist Chorus and fade