They don't write songs like that anymore! You turn me off, and then you leave me in here And then I'm scratching at, your door, begging you for, some more You make me hide, so your friends can come inside, and tell me to be quiet I make some noise and I hear this haggled voice yelling "Hey what's the riot?" And I hear you say... It's only the dog Or maybe the cat Or maybe the bird Uh huh honey it's only me He jumps off, his chair, said "I'm a gonna look in there" My heart hits, the floor, as he came toward the door He opened up to see, and fortunately for me, I resembled sherpa jacket He closed the door, admitted he was wrong, about all the racket Then I heard you say... It's only the dog Or maybe the cat Or maybe it's that bird Uh huh honey it's only me Finally, your friends, say they're gonna be goin' Couldn't wait to hear, "Hey, you come out now boy, it's all clear" Gave me the sign, I was out in record time, but to my surprise From under the bed came my friend Ed From behind the drapes came 'cousin and along with the guys' Now what you gonna say? It's only the dog Or maybe the cat Or maybe it's that bird Uh huh honey it's only me