She comes in about six o'clock trippin' over toys and pickin' up socks And you think her day had been a ton of trouble She's been doing important things with tradin' stamps and turnip greens And have I noticed how the price of soap has doubled She's as normal as she can be and she never misses Jeapardy And I think that she'd elope with Dick VanDyke And when the kids have all been fed and when I lay me down to bed She gives me my time of the night Then she's a lover she comes to my side Right around midnight after her day's been so confused That's why I love her and that's why I do right And if there's a reason God gave me a feeling baby it's you She hates tangerines she loves the rain volunteers me for everything And the bank has never been right in her life She thinks my Uncle Bill's a sap and she's taught me words like over draft And the only number she remembers is her shoe size She had words with a guy next door and almost started a neighborhood war Cause he said something smart to our son Bob And therefore I had to invite him in and apologize and convince him That she really didn't mean he was a big fat slob She's as normal as she can be...