So this husband came home drunk each night And he thrashed her black and he thrashed her white He thrashed her to within an inch of her life Then he slept like a log, did her husband But as he lay and snored in bed A strange idea came into her head So she went for the needle and she went for the thread And straight to her sleeping husband She started to stitch with a girlish thrill With a woman's art and a seamstress' skill She pinned and tucked with an iron will All around her sleeping husband When her husband awoke with a pain in his head He found he could not move in bed 'Sweet Christ I've lost the use of me legs!' But the wife just smiled at her husband Then she thrashed him black, she thrashed him blue With a frying pan and a colander, too With a rolling pin just a stroke or two A battered and bleeding husband Isn't it true what small can do With a thread and a stitch and a thought or two He's wiped his slate, his boozing's through Goodbye to a drunken husband Kick out the jams, motherfucker! Shhh