Cell Block Tango Catherine Zeta-Jones / Susan Misner / Deidre Goodwin [LIZ] Pop [ANNIE] Six [JUNE] Squish [HUNYAK] Uh uh [VELMA] Cicero [MONA] Lipschitz! [ANNOUNCER] And now the six merry murderesses of the Crookem County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango" [LIZ] Pop [ANNIE] Six [JUNE] Squish [HUNYAK] Uh uh [VELMA] Cicero [MONA] Lipschitz! (4X) [ALL] He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it [VELMA] I betcha you would have done the same! [LIZ] Pop [ANNIE] Six [JUNE] Squish [HUNYAK] Uh uh [VELMA] Cicero [MONA] Lipschitz! (2X) [LIZ (Spoken)] You know how people have these little habits That get you down. Like Bernie. Bernie like to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day, And I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there's Bernie layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'. So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... ...into his head. [ALL] He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have heard it I betcha you would Have dome the same! [ANNIE (Spoken)] I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, We'd have dinner. And then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married ...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic. [ALL] He had it coming He had it coming He took a flower In its prime And then he used it And he abused it It was a murder But not a crime! [JUNE (Spoken)] Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. "You been screwin' the milkman," he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', "you been screwin the milkman." And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times! [ALL] If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same! [HUNYAK (Spoken in Hungarian)] Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg... [JUNE (Spoken)] Yeah, but di you do it? [HUNYAK] UH UH, not guilty! [VELMA] My sister, Veronica and I did this double act and my husband, Charlie, used to travel round with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row One,two,three,four,five...splits, spread eagles, back flips,flip flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero,the three of us,boozin', havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead.
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