I've been ready for hours and I'm wearing my best Ordered champagne and flowers and you're not even dressed Tonight's a special night to remember with pride These twenty happy years since you became my bride It is all too absurd, you're so cross and abrupt But I don't say a word or you're bound to erupt Your peculiar moods I've experienced before So I'll pour another drink and quietly pace the floor It's a quarter to eight as we fretfully wait For your little black dress, that was promised by six Is it just rotten luck, when we're doing the town That the fates should conspire, to let us mortals down I have seats for a show and it's opening night My shoes do not fit me and my suit is too tight And you sit there and curse, an occasional curse And I've got a headache that's quickly getting worse Happy anniversary, happy anniversary They deliver your frock, but you're still in distress It was past nine o clock, when I helped you to dress I tried to do you up, but, it wasn't my day For then to fill my cup, your zipper stuck half way I got all in a sweat, over anxious and vexed Will I ever forget, the thing that happened next Your dress just came apart, with one terrible tear Your disappointed cries, were more than I could bear At eleven at last, when we got into town We arrived at the show, but the curtain was down I suggested a bite. No, no you wanted to walk You had no appetite and no desire to talk So we strolled for an hour, and the evening was sweet And I bought you a flower, from a man in the street And we kissed on the sidewalk, without reason or rhyme And we knew that our love is must stronger than time Happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy anniversary.
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