The awful truth Concerning me The creature-feature mystery Is simply this In the worst way I wanna play MRS. DRACULA The challenge is tough But I know I've got the stuff To be just spectacular Can't you see it in lights ROSIE REALLY MEETS DRACULA! So close your eyes And visualize Me in a cape And fangs in my head Loving a guy who's mostly dead (I don't see him often 'Cause he sleeps in a coffin) Nothing could be zanier Than our lives in Transylvania We're fabulous one day And rotten the next Variety says THOSE TWO MUST BE HEXED! At six in the morning When my sweetie is yawning I feed all the bats A mush made of rats Then I tidy the tomb Cover all the trap doors And wash any old blood stains Offa the floors DON'T YOU SEE This juicy part Was meant for me! I got the looks I got the style I got the bloodshot eyes And a ghastly smile It's the dream of my life To play DRACULA'S WIFE! The reviews will all rave This movie's a whopper A super show-stopper And no one can top her Not Rosie! Dear Academy, Take note I should get the Oscar vote If I don't I'll bite your throat! Signing off now Quote, unquote