We fell in love down at the pier You were sunbathing, I was around Soon we were sharing a beer We fell in love at the pier I'm no sentimental slob so don't think I'm queer You got something baby and it ain't just my beer Well, maybe it's the hot pants, maybe the heat Or was it the sneakers you kicked of your feet? I sat under my umbrella to keep my pearly skin You tanned your oily body looking like sin Well, soon I was sweating and I wanted to leave You slipped into the water from too much grease Well, I saw you yelling. I just couldn't hear So I screamed back at you "Honey keep the beer!" We never consummated our outside love affair Too much tar and water, too much hot air Oh, what a tragic end to love that was lost We would have stood a chance if we met in the frost, but We fell in love down at pier You were sunbathing, I was around Now I go to beaches with my girlfriend No more love splinters in my rear end