Woman goes to heaven, it's not important when 'Cause as soon as she arrives God has to send her down again 'You've got an extra five years to clean up after men' 'I mean no disrespect God, but you better make it ten' Well if heaven's an improvement I won't mind the extra squeeze I've got a few more birds down there God, after losing bees Trying to lose their bees So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates No time for lively discussion No time for televised debates The well-meaning soon become the well meant It's the hard sell or hell at the gates Alcoholic finds himself outside the pearly gates I've only got one worry God, a few outstanding slates Any tab you used to have's been passed to so called mates And after they've paid-up they're off to the land of empty crates Heaven is a glass, neither half empty nor half full So do us all a favour God and give that thing a pull Give that thing a pull So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates No time for lively discussion No time for televised debates The well-meaning soon become the well meant It's the hard sell or hell at the gates Model turns up hours late, he had to get it right If you're gonna look cool in heaven wear something more than white Vanity's close to arrogance, just slightly more polite Fashion show a jumble sale at a slightly different height So don't be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates No time for lively discussion No time for televised debates The well-meaning soon become the well meant It's the hard sell or hell at the gates
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