Well I'll be damned No I won't be damned Because I have been damned And I won't be damned anymore! I walked out He didn't walk out It was me who walked out It was me closing the door "Hello, Operator?" I'd like to place a long distance call to a Mr. Billy Rose in Cleveland Ohio. At the Cleveland Hotel. Um, no, no, no, no. I'll wait." Billy's an alley cat that's for sure Nick's from a horsier class But I'd rather be with a cat's meow Than a genuine thouroughbred horse's ass! "Um, that's alright. No. No message. Thank you." One is fantasy, one is real One is make believe, one is real One is picture book, More like comic book One is real Billy is real I should have seen that before All my life on the stage I'm a big success All my life off the stage What a mess! Oh what a mess! All my life on the stage How they cheer the clown All my life off the stage I kept closing out of town When I'm up there I'm a great big star And I get the heftiest lift Howdy-Do! Up there I'm a great big star A solid and qualified hit I'm gonna take what I do up there And I'm gonna do it down here! Quick as a lightning flash I'm moving straight ahead I'm gonna be a smash I'm gonna knock 'em dead.......