It was on the good ship Venus By Christ, ya shoulda seen us The figurehead was a whore in bed And the mast, a mammoth penis The captain of this lugger He was a dirty bugger He wasn't fit to shovel shit From one place to another Chorus: Friggin' in the riggin' Friggin' in the riggin' Friggin' in the riggin' There was fuck all else to do The first mate's name was Morgan By Christ, he was a gorgon Ten times a day he'd stop and play With his fuckin' organ The first mate's name was Cooper By Christ he was a trooper. He jerked and jerked until he worked Himself into a stupor Chorus The second mate was Andy By Christ, he had a dandy Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock For cumming in the brandy The cabin boy was Flipper He was a fuckin' nigger He stuffed his ass with broken glass And circumcised the skipper Chorus The Captain's wife was Mabel To fuck she was not able So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits Across the barroom table The Captain had a daughter Who fell in deep sea water And by her squeals we knew the eels Had found 'er sexual quarters Repeat Chorus to Fade