Though I have been a fool for love I have finally made my score I got a girl, and I don't mean to boast But she loves me the most Even though she's a highly paid whore She'll give head to a sheep She can stuff three cocks in her cheek But she comes home to me She'll do the groom and the best man She'll slap your ass in the back of a van But she comes home to me She could fuck nine guys in a row But still have a tenth for me And I'm the only one who gets to kiss them lips Unless you pay an extra fifty So mister, don't you fall in love Cause I'm the only cat who doesn't wear a glove Since her heart belongs to me She has a throat that just won't quit She can take all of it And still have room for your balls but she shops in the malls for me She'll say twelve then call back and say one But I don't care I know it's just work not fun When she blows you, Jack Don't you think she's not thinking of me She'll go down on a yack, lick a horse's nutsack But strictly for the cash And it's only me who doesn't pay a fee to watch her put a water bottle in her gash (Put a water bottle in her gash) She'll let you suck her nips till they're leakin' But don't you dare try to go antique-ing Cause she does that with me Her pussy's sweet as honey But when she moans, it's just for the money Unless she's sittin' on me She'll cram your asshole with a mouse But she won't do it in our house Tough luck, Jack She knows that don't fly with me She might eat your wife's box But she won't tell ya where you left your socks She rolled up and down your fat prick But it was me who took her to the Meg Ryan flick She's got a face full of nuts And a mouth full of cocks She's done Seal, Larry King, four New Kids on the Block, She blew the Winnepeg Jets right after a game But they never got to know her actual name On your face she will piss On your chest she might poop But she won't prepare her famous vegetable soup That's simply reserved.. Oh she'll bite ya, she'll spank ya But she'll never thank you for free Cause baby... comes home to me. Comin' home!!